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    Saturday
    Apr142007

    149 Die Celebrating Saddam's Death Sentence For Killing 148

    IraqiBig.jpg(Baghdad, Iraq) Yesterday former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and his former associates were sentenced to death by hanging after being convicted for the 1982 killings of 148 Shiites.

    In a wave of celebration, some of the surviving Shiites took to Baghdad's streets and fired several hundred guns into the air in order to show their excitement. But two minutes later, tragedy struck, when 149 people were killed as the bullets fell back to Earth.

    The families of the victims were outraged and immediately assigned the blame. "This is all Saddam's fault," said celebrator and AK-47 owner Abu Hamza " If he hadn't killed my people in 1982, angered the world, started and lost a war in 91, bluffed about having nuclear weapons, been overthrown by the Americans, been put on trial and found guilty, then my brothers and I would had never fired our guns into the air in celebration and those 149 people would still be alive."

    "Yes, Abu is right," said fellow AK-47 owner Ruz al-Jubouri "Saddam just never learns. It's like he has zero respect for human life or a drop of common sense."

    But some American soldiers have said that maybe it wasn't such a common sensical idea to fire the guns in the first place. "It's a gravity thing," said an unidentified U.S. soldier "What goes up, must come down."

    Hamza doesn't see it that way. He thinks it's disgusting to try and shift the blame onto his culture. "You know, this never would have happened, we never would have fired our guns into the air, if your guys hadn't invaded our country, put Saddam on trial and convicted him. So this is your fault, U.S. soldiers."

    When we reminded Hamza that he previously said that Saddam was to blame, he blamed us, saying that if the media didn't report the 1982 killings, the invasion of Kuwait, the standoff with weapons inspectors, the war, the occupation, the arrest and conviction of Saddam, then they never would have fired their guns into the air. When we suggested that that answer made no sense, Hamza fired his gun into the air. We ran like hell to safety, but 10 more people died, when those bullets came back down. Now Hamza and his buddies are saying that Saddam, the U.S. Army, and the media should be on the hook for those 10 people.

    In order to prevent any more celebratory deaths, the U.S. Army is encouraging the Shiites to celebrate the American way, by just burning cars.

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