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    « Hey Bra, You Intelligence Types Got It All Wrong. If You Really Want To Torture A Terrorist, Stop The Waterboarding And Start The Teabagging | Main | I'm Glad I'm Old, Cause You're F*cked »
    Friday
    Nov022007

    Waitress Insists Mime Job Is Just Temporary

    MimeBig.jpg(Burbank, CA) Growing up during the cold winters of Lincoln, Nebraska Ronnie Westburg kept warm by clinging to her dream. A dream that would take her out West to the adopted home of Bob Hope, where she could pursue her life's work of serving good people quality food at competitive prices.

    Ronnie moved to Burbank 18 months ago. But after two months of not being able to find the right family style restaurant, she took the only job she could find, as a mime performing at charity events.

    "Miming is just temporary," said Ronnie while practicing to climb an invisible ladder "I'm just doing it for the money, until I can find that dream waitressing gig."

    To everyone reading this article, that may sound easy, but it's a challenge. "I'm caught in a Catch-22," said Ronnie "To get a job you need experience, and you can't get experience unless you get a job. So, I just gotta keep putting myself out there and hope I'll meet someone who knows someone who knows someone, who needs a good waitress."

    But several people think Ronnie should stuff her waitressing dream down the garbage disposal and pursue miming full time."She has the gift. She has IT," said mime Josh Robbins a.k.a. 'Un Peu Marcel Marceau'. "She's a genius. When she's trapped in that box, I catch myself wondering if she's going to survive. That type of miming talent only comes around maybe once every hundred years. But she doesn't care. She just wants to serve waffles to fat people."

    "You see why I don't want to waste my life as a mime? They're snobs," answered Ronnie. "I'm sorry Josh, that you're not as talented as you want to be, but let me live my own life. And I would consider it an honor to serve fat people waffles or anything they want, though I might push a salad with low-fat dressing. I don't want my customers to die on me."  

    Though Ronnie seems to be alone in going after her dream, she does have one ally, her father John. The former waiter wants Ronnie to quit the mime thing and go for it. "If she doesn't, she's going to wake up one day and be too old to be the kind of waitress I know she can be." Ronnie agrees and said she was going to quit.

    But a month later we found Ronnie she still trapped in that imaginary box. She insisted that she has one foot outside that box. "I'm quitting soon. I just need a little more money, a little more." Don't we all Ronnie, don't we all.

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