Subscribe
Friends of The Lost News
This area does not yet contain any content.


This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Login
    Powered by Squarespace
    Sunday
    Feb052012

    GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons

    (Washington D.C.) Most people think global warming is one big problem. But how do we fix it? Today, the Grand Old Party gave their answer.

    “It’s not just our answer. It’s the answer!” exclaimed the goggle clad House Minority Whip Eric Cantor. “And that answer is - swimming lessons!”

    Yes, the GOP plans to combat global warming with swimming lessons.

    “When the snow caps melt and the waters rise, there’s not going to be enough boats for everyone because of President Obama’s reckless spending. So we (the GOP) want to teach people to swim. It works for me,” said House Minority Leader John Boehner, “and it’ll work for the American people.”

    The swimming lesson venture, called Operation Frog-Kick, will be sponsored by private corporations such as ExxonMobil, Halliburton and Xe (formerly Blackwater) and will begin this summer.

    “There’s no time to waste,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “Because think about this. When mother nature is washing your homes out to sea, what’s going to help you more, a giant windmill built by a socialist president or knowing how to swim?…The answer seems pretty black and white to me.”

    Cantor added that because Operation Frog-Kick will require zero public funds, Congress would able to give the public (and a few select corporations such as ExxonMobil, Halliburton and Xe) a tax cut. “And that will help create jobs, reboot the housing market and let the American people fill up their gas tanks so that they can get to their swimming lessons.”

    President Obama, you’ve just been served.

    PrintView Printer Friendly Version

    EmailEmail Article to Friend

    References (43)

    References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
    • Response
      Response: Lee Trotman SCE
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: Laura Glading
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: Mdhuset
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: Mdhuset
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: 42nd Street Photo
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: 42nd street photo
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: seven dollar click
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: jay varney madera
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: Dr Zizmor
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: Andrew Ting MD
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: phil pustejovsky
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: phil pustejovsky
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: 42nd street photo
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: Stefan Glaenzer
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: United Cash Loans
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
      Response: seo
      The Lost News - The Front Page - GOP Unveils Plan To Combat Global Warming: Swimming Lessons
    • Response
    • Response
    • Response
      Response: DAFTAR Liga365

    Reader Comments (1)

    Yea..swimming lessons, right.

    Hey not to change the subject but how do I get a nifty full color paid goggle ad from 'swim.com' on my web page? Aren't I good enough?


    Kidding Chris, you know I love ya..

    June 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkevin john

    PostPost a New Comment

    Enter your information below to add a new comment.

    My response is on my own website »
    Author Email (optional):
    Author URL (optional):
    Post:
     
    Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>