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    Wednesday
    Jun252008

    Opponent Of Gay Marriage Admits He Really Doesn’t Have Anything Better To Do

    iStock_000000536655XSmall.jpg(Nashville, TN) Henry Garrey is a God-fearing Christian, and like all other proper God-fearing Christians, he disapproves of the gays and their marriage.

     “Boy do I ever,” said Henry. “The fact that gays can get married in Massachusetts and California just drives me nuts! Come on, everybody who’s read the American bible knows that marriage is supposed to be between Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Adameena and Eve.”

    Garrey says that he is willing to do whatever it takes to rid this world of gay marriage. “Because it’s the most dangerous thing in the world and...I really don’t have anything else better to do.”

    He’s not lying.

    Henry does not have anything to occupy his time: no job, no girlfriend, no friends, no pets, nothing. “Oh I used to have those things, but I won the Lotto a few years ago and now, thanks to Pastor Roberts down at the First Baptist Church of Christ, I have no worries except gay marriage. He says that stopping the gays from marrying is the single biggest challenge we face as a society…And I believe him.”

    Henry has used much of his fortune to back up his belief by financing flyers, posters and TV ads promoting the risks of gay marriage. “Did you know that every child who comes in contact with gay marriage turns into a gay? I can’t let that happen…I just wish I had more of nothing else to do, so I could spend more time saving heterosexuality.”

    God willing, Garrey hopes to lick gay marriage before the end of the year. So then he and Pastor Roberts can tackle society’s second problem, a fictional boy wizard named Harry Potter.

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    Reader Comments (1)

    Got to keep Henry busy. :)

    June 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

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