Subscribe
Friends of The Lost News
This area does not yet contain any content.


This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Login
    Powered by Squarespace
    Saturday
    Apr072007

    2032 Presidential Candidate Puts Venezuela "On Notice"

    MS_Big.jpg(Oklahoma City, OK) Monica Swafford is an abnormally bright 10 year-old girl with a love for Hilary Duff, puppies and politics. Last week while Republicans and Democrats were gearing up for the 2008 Presidential election, Monica announced her intention to run in 2032 and put the South American nation of Venezuela and it's "elected" leader Hugo Chavez "On Notice".

    "Mr. Chavez, you need to get your C-R-A-P in order," said Swafford during a campaign stop in her kitchen for milk and cookies "because if you haven't reinstated a true market economy by the time I take my oath, there's going to be some real T-R-O-U-B-L-E."

    Chavez is not Swafford's only target. She also has put "On Notice" Zimbabwe, China and Luxembourg, all for human rights violations.

    Though Chavez and the other countries have more than twenty-five years to comply, they shouldn't take this young girl lightly. Monica is the only child ever elected to a neighborhood council (we think), where she fought hard to install lights in the pool (so kids could swim at night) and allow anyone to sell their homemade snacks. "I'm a big believer in the entrepreneur," added Swafford.

    Most 10 year-olds spend Friday nights watching movies and putting on make-up with glitter, but from now on Swafford will spend hers fundraising and writing out her policy ideas. She believes in a flat tax system, a strong military and a nationwide bedtime of ten o'clock for children under thirteen.

    "I know this journey is not going to be easy," said Swafford "That's why I'm starting now. So when I reach 35, which by the way is very old, I'll be ready." Before becoming President, Monica also plans to have a child out of wedlock and overcome a future addiction to Meth. "Overcoming those obstacles will only endear me to the voters," added Swafford "They'll see that Monica Swafford doesn't have one ounce of 'quit' in her...You hear that Chavez?"
    Page 1 2