Subscribe
Friends of The Lost News
This area does not yet contain any content.


This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Login
    Powered by Squarespace
    « Movie Extra Reveals Will Ferrell, "Down To Earth Guy" | Main
    Saturday
    Apr072007

    Woman Seeks to Point Out That Angelina Jolie is Nothing Special, Really

    iStock_AngelinaWomanBig.jpg(Muncie, IN) Tiffany Allen just wants to point out to everyone "Angelina Jolie's lips are physically too big for her face....I'm not lying." A fact she repeatedly stated during a recent viewing of the movie Mr. And Mrs. Smith with her boyfriend, Todd James.

    After he selected the Mr. And Mrs. Smith DVD from the shelf at Blockbuster, Tiffany jumped to point out to Todd that the cover of the movie had been "obviously airbrushed, because no one's legs actually look like that." Todd, who asked three times if his movie selection was okay, felt obligated to then say that Tiffany's legs looked "great" and that "that Mystic Tan is really working."

    "Angelina Jolie can afford to have special trainers that you can't get at regular gyms," Tiffany stated as she picked up some Extra Butter, Extra Salt Popcorn to snack on, "I mean, having a ton of money will get you that body, if you know what I mean". Todd didn't know what she meant, but decided to just stay quiet. Tiffany then went on to explain again that the reason she stopped jogging was because she needed a new pair of tennis shoes and didn't want to "undo all the hard work" she'd done by running in old shoes.

    Despite repeatedly turning up the volume during the viewing of Mr. And Mrs. Smith that night, Todd unfortunately missed 80% of the movie due to discussing at length whether or not Angelina Jolie's hair was a "weave", or if she'd had "Restalyn" or "Restasis". He wasn't totally sure. Also discussed was why anyone would like a cheating whore who steals Brad Pitt from his wife. Instead of pointing out that Tiffany had earlier stated that Jennifer Aniston's nose was huge and unnatural, Todd chose instead to fill his mouth with delicious Extra Butter, Extra Salt Popcorn.

    Later that evening, when Tiffany inquired as to why Todd didn't work out more to achieve hot abs and a sexy core like Brad Pitt, Todd took the opportunity to dump Tiffany because of her non-air-brushed legs. Now he's dating a personal trainer, who looks a lot like Angelina Jolie.

    PrintView Printer Friendly Version

    EmailEmail Article to Friend

    Reader Comments (1)

    So if I had a ton of money, I could "get" Angelina Jolie's body? If that is actually a picture of Tiffany above, I wonder if I could "get" her body for about 10 pounds of money?

    May 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterErnie

    PostPost a New Comment

    Enter your information below to add a new comment.

    My response is on my own website »
    Author Email (optional):
    Author URL (optional):
    Post:
     
    Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>