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    Guys, I've Got Some Great Ideas For Naked Gun 44 1/4

    OJ.jpgThis is a letter sent to Jerry and David Zucker, the makers of Police Squad and The Naked Gun, The Naked Gun 2 1/2 and The Naked Gun 33 1/3...dated, January 1, 2001

    Happy New Year Zucker clan! It's a new century, a new era and a time for rebirth. Which means I'm ready to get back to work! I haven't heard from you in a while. (The second half of the 90's were just nuts for me.) I didn't know if I had done anything to make you mad, so I thought that I would extend the olive branch. So how are you guys?

    First let me say, Jerry I saw FIRST KNIGHT and let me say powerful man, powerful. No wonder the whites have been in power so long. ZING! That was a Juice Joke, not the powerful comment about FIRST KNIGHT but about whites being in power. I'm thinking about trying stand-up comedy, because thanks to you guys, I know I'm funny.Which brings me to the reason for this letter.

    Guys, I've got some great ideas for NAKED GUN 44 1/4. Now stick with me, but I think this could be the "Nordberg" movie. I think the public's ready. The story could revolve around Nordberg (who doesn't have a first name, but I was thinking Gabriel) as he becomes the head of Police Squad after Frank Drebin is tragically killed. He has his head cut off by the jealous ex-husband of his new girlfriend...Ouch!

    If that's too gory, then how about old Gabe Nordberg and Frank Drebin going go cross-country to save Ed from a band of homicidal lesbians? Or Nordberg and Drebin could go into space or time travel. I've got so many good ideas it's sick! We've got to get together, when can we get together? How about now! I'm coming over! ZING! That's Juice Joke number 2!

    Seriously, we gotta hash out these ideas, pronto. And it goes without saying, but I'd be willing to share the writing credit with you cats. I just want to work in the medium I was born for. I want people to see the real Juice, the funny Juice, the silly Juice, the Juice you can invite into your home. I think people got the wrong idea about the Juice.

    I'm around and I'm free, so let me know what you want to do about these "golden" ideas.


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