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    « After Captain America's Death, Captain Chaos Fills Void | Main | Movie Extra Reveals Will Ferrell, "Down To Earth Guy" »
    Saturday
    Apr142007

    Trouble In Hollywood As Blades Of Glory Tanks In The Sudan

    BladesSudanBig.jpg(Hollywood, CA) Super hot comedian Will Ferrell's box office dominance has hit a big melting iceberg. While his latest blockbuster Blades Of Glory has scorched the American and European theaters, it has failed to catch fire in the African nation of Sudan.

    "We are shocked, just shocked," said DreamWorks marketing president Peter Gold "We did not see this coming at all. We thought Blades would kill, because when the chips are down, and they definitely are down in the Sudan, who doesn't want to laugh at a tall white guy on ice skates?"

    Evidently the Sudanese, who treated the Will Ferrell and Jon Heder starrer like the rest of the world has treated Darfour. Case in point, in it's opening weekend Blades only pulled in a meager 200 dollars.

    Reports have that Ferrell is inconsolable and can't understand why his movie underperformed. "But like a pro, he wants to do something about it," added Gold "That's why we're thinking of taking Blades Of Glory there as an ice show. I think the people would really like that."

    "I agree. We would," said the Sudanese Director of Entertainment Muhammad al-Hashir "if we had an ice rink. Right now, we would just rather have the ice."

    Also an exit survey of the 100 Sudanese who saw Blades, said that they just didn't click with the fat, white, alcoholic figure skater character of Chazz Michael Michaels and his story of redemption.

    "I wish I could be an alcoholic like Chazz," said local farmer Bomani Harun "but first I'd have to have some alcohol and a cup."

    "I'd give my right nut to have the hefty body and hair of Mr. Michael Michaels," said out of work taxi driver Moussa al-Rifi. When we reminded Rifi that the saying was 'I'd give my left nut', he added that his right nut was all that he could give. His left nut was removed by the government for safekeeping.

    Despite the depressing numbers and feedback, Peter Gold is not giving up on the Sudan. He still thinks the Sudanese want and need to laugh. "I know what they want, they want animation. And I feel confident, that they're going to love the new Jack Black animated movie Kung Fu Panda ."

    But what about Blades of Glory, the ice show and Will Ferrell? "Blades is gone. The ice show is not going to happen," said Gold "And it saddens me to say this, but Will's film career in the Sudan is over."

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