Last 'Air Supply' Fan Calls It Quits
Monday, November 26, 2007 at 01:00PM

ASFAN280x255.jpg(Thousand Oaks, Ca) After months of deliberating, part-time economics teacher, Alice Cahill, the last known Air Supply fan, has decided to call it quits. "It's hard, but it's really for the best." said a somber Alice, as she put the Air Supply album Yours Truly into a time capsule. "Maybe future generations will rediscover and love the Supply, but I can't do it anymore." 


"They took me for granted," said Alice. "Over the past 25 years, I've turned down dozens of full-time teaching jobs in order to follow Air Supply. And not once, did I get a 'thank you', a 'way to go', or a  'What are you doing for Christmas Alice? Because if you're not doing anything special, the band would like to invite you over because you're so important to us.'....I think that's bullshit, and I'm done."

"Let her walk. What the hell do I care?" said Air Supply lead singer, Russell Hitchcock from his garage/office. "We have plenty of other fans. In fact there was a fan right outside just a minute ago. Here, look out the window. Well, that's the mailman Terry. But there was a fan out there, there was."

Air Supply may not want Alice, but a slew of other vintage bands do. "Alice is great," said Robert Lamm, lead singer from the 80's fave CHICAGO. "25 years, are you kidding me? We'd love to have someone who has that level of commitment."

In fact CHICAGO has made Alice a very firm fan offer. "Besides love, we're offering Alice a 401k, two holidays a year with the band, and a child sired by me," said Lamm. But CHICAGO doesn't have it sewn up, because bands like ASIA, KAJAGOOGOOO, ALDO NOVA, DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS and TOMMY TUTONE are throwing their hats into the ring. 

"In the end I had to go where my heart told me to go, and that's CHICAGO," said Alice at a press conference this morning. "Sorry ASIA, but those windy city boys are something special."

"No Alice, you're something special. You're special for turning things around for us, for giving us new life" said Lamm. "Hell, we feel like we're forty-five again!"

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